Tuesday, May 29, 2007

[Yao] We missed you too

Now that my god awful final paper is washed right out of my hair, it's time for juicy news...and lots of it.

DEATH!
Izumi Sakai of Zard died on the 27th in Keio University Hospital from a cerebral contusion. According to police reports, a passer-by found Sakai unconcious near the hospital, where she had been going for chemotherapy. She had apparently slipped on some wet surface and fell about 3 meters, hitting the back of her head on concrete.
I don't know if most of you know about Zard (tbh I never was a fan of their/her music) but that is pretty awful. She had an album and a tour planned! Although, Japan has some of the most slippery surfaces ever: do you know how many times I've slipped on those god awful manhole covers on the streets? Would it kill them to grind them down so that there's some traction? No, but let's all have a moment of silence for our favorite mid-90s Jpop queen.





[a somber moment of silence]



Okay, moving along, we have...

SEX!
According to the fabulous people over at Naispo, they've found the real reason Akanishi Jin went to "study" english:
he knocked up two underaged girls!
First, he slam dunk'd with an 'average high school girl' (average my ass, it was totally that harlot Hanako from 2-D) and got a 'stern repremand,' whatever that means. But natrually, only corporal punishment gets through to punks these days and JE is soft, so Jin went and did it again. He got some 'not yet famous, yet still rather profitable teen idol group's' middle-school member pregnant and apparently made her get an abortion. EDIT: and we have names! And JE, even quick to clean up messes, decided two strikes makes and out and shipped him off to the good U.S. of A., where he proceeded to put his semen in of-age white womenz. I hate the motherfucker, but you have to admit he is making his dreams of pimping around the world come true. All kattun needs now is an Asian tour and he'll be spreading his DNA all across the Silk Road. So relax crazy asian fans, he'll do you eventually. As long as you're not ugly. Which you probably are. Moving along...

CATTINESS!
The infamous Sawajiri-kai has been dissolved! And on SawaEri's birthday no less!
"Sawajiri and [Nakagawa] Shoko had a tussle over a certain Johnny's talent and that's when their relationship went sour and from there on the Sawajiri-kai collapsed in on itself. Sawajiri was always rather selfish and fickle, so she'd be quick to cut off relations as soon as there's any conflict. And on top of that she had a bad habit of stealing the boyfriends of members/friends." - An informant.
Well then, I guess the Nagasawa-kai has won by default. It's actually quite a shame because SawaEri's hilariously bitchy feats were just starting to become endearing. Also can we talk about how frumpy NagaMi looks recently? Very few people look good with a center parted greasy bob.




Insipid news of the month
Leah Dizon actually can speak Japanese, like, fluently?! NO WAI!!
Let's all be real here; she's hot. Do we really need her to talk? What, I can't speak for the 3 straight boys that read this blog?

Epherma

Creepy pictures of Yamapi's sister, who's a gravure idol:


large and in charge and 2x the creepy


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We know you missed us. Now show us some love.

Monday, May 07, 2007

{VERONICA} ITS BABY TIME

JapanZone is reporting that the real reason Tsuji Nozomi declined a lucrative spot in a stage musical is because she's two months pregnant! Actor Sugiura Taiyou of Ultraman fame, who she has been dating for a year now, is rumored/confirmed to be the father. Tsuji was named as the leader of new group Gyaruru recently but dropped out due to an "acute stomach ulcer". An acute stomach ulcer that will take about 9 months to get rid of, I guess! I've got a date, 6/17, for a wedding but that's it. Interestingly enough, more sources indicate that the baby may have some sort of congenital disorder that causes defects, or worse (gasp!) discoloration! I hope it's green! ...I don't know guys. She's 19 now, but I still think of her as a little 12 year old girl. Babies having Babies, it has to stop! Imagine when the baby turns 2 or 3 and they walk down the street together, they'll look exactly the same. They could use the baby as a replacement for Kago Ai and bring back W! I love that Nozomi is getting away with this crap just because she's graduated but Ai got the book thrown at her not once, but twice! Nozomi was always the funnier one anyhow.

(And if you ask me, Nozomi has always looked EXACTLY like Ohno Satoshi from Arashi. Look at their faces side to side!)

Also, Fujii Takashi is having a baby with his wife, Otoha. No, for real, he's married. No, to a woman, stop being an asshole. No, that was just a character. God, do you believe everything you read online? Well, clearly he does, because he put up with it long enough to make a kid! Listen, lots of people wear golden sneakers, stop stereotyping, even I do sometimes, and look at me! Listen, you told me you were gonna keep that one night a secret, don't be a douchebag. I was experimenting!


I had more to post but I'm sorta drunk and very tired. Such is life, eh?



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