Monday, March 26, 2007

It's been a long time.. we shouldn't have left you (left you) without a dope beat to step to...

WHO WORE IT BETTER:

CHO SCANDALOUS

EDITION!!!!!

Don't you hate it when you show up to a party/club and some bitch is wearing the exact same thing as you? Actually, that's never happened to us because our style is ~light years~ ahead of the rest of the people in Orlando, Florida, but I'm sure it's really tragic. And it happens to stars, too! I mean, it could be because they're all wearing the same trendy designer bullshit, but still. Still. Let's take a look at some examples....

FIRST BATTLE:
Ebihara Yuri vs. Henmi Emiri
We'll make this one easy because it's the first one-- look at Ebi-chan's shoes. That's all I gotta say, kids.

Winner: Henmi Emiri!!!!!!!! Those brown peep toes are sooo cuty.

SECOND BATTLE:
Fujiwara Norika vs. (my bb) Takeuchi Yuko
Says Jousei Seven: "Newly divorced" vs "Newly married": A wife's best friend is her St. Laurent." Shit, at 159,000 yen, it had better be. I'm tempted to give the prize to Yuko just because I want to spend the rest of my life with her, but let's face it, she's not even wearing makeup and Norika, overexposed as she may be, did accessorize quite nicely with those sunglasses.


Winner: Fujiwara Norika!!!!

THIRD BATTLE:

Hasegawa Kyoko Vs. Karina

Don't look at the dress, fools-- they're both wearing the same shoes! I don't know, this is just a pair of ugly shoes, and I'm feeling mean. I mean, circular metal pieces, straps, AND a gross ribbon? Not to mention they're both wearing the completely wrong dress for them. With shoes as tacky as those, you really need a Koda Kumi-caliber dress (or lack of one) to really work that. These looks are just frumpy as shit.

Winner: BOTH LOSE!!!!

FOURTH BATTLE:

Hamasaki Ayumi vs. Koda Kumi

Ultimate Diva Battle! Both are wearing the same 600,000 yen Emanuel Ungaro dress. Ayu, pictured in her 2005 calendar has the leg up (literally) on her competition. Diamond necklace, bracelet, earrings, and a cute updo make this ugly dress at least look pretty damn elegant. Koda Kumi, shown at this years' Jewelry Best Dresser (what?) Award, is wearing this dress awkwardly in the chest and with a completely wrong hairstyle. Also seeing this little of her body is slightly unsettling. She looks like the 'smart' girl from high school on her prom night, hoping she's gonna lose her virginity to the football captain. So close, but just not enough. Also, she has an ugly face.

Winner: Ayumi Hamasaki!!!!

FIFTH BATTLE:

Mary Kate Olsen vs. Tsumabuki Satoshi vs. Nakata Hidetoshi

If you're gonna blow 32,000 yen on something, please let it be this McQ by Alexander McQueen scarf. In any color. You will automatically become a rock-star.

Winner: EVERYONE!!!!

LAST BATTLE:

Kusanagi Tsuyoshi vs. Ichiro

Mr. Kusanagi, come on. You're a Best Jeanest Hall Of Famer, but you can't even get a sweater right? It's way too big and looks like something pirated you buy on Canal St. for 15 bucks, not a 60,000 yen Lucien Pellat-Finet cashmere sweater. Not that Ichiro is doing any better with the whole ugly hat thing, but at least his fits. And he's not balding yet, either.

Winner: Ichiro!!!!!

Cast your vote in the Forums!

6 comments:

Aki said...

I definitely agree with all of the awards you gave girls, but I still think Tsuyopon looks good XD

Squints said...

ayumi looks like she's got a mannequin leg sticking out from her dress... is that leg even for real?

htr said...

Koda Kumi's bangs in that picture look like it's some cheap fake hair pasted onto her forehead.

smaku said...

Ebi looks super scary in that pic, and who does Ayu beat Koda Kumi hands down.

Hot damn I want that McQ scarf.

cindy said...

damn i can't get enough of you guys! good shit.

KendoYuki said...

I have missed your amajing updates<3

 

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