Sunday, December 31, 2006

{VERONICA} I'm baaaaack....

"Meanwhile, Ayase [Haruka] is currently featured in the NTV drama “Tatta Hitotsu No Koi.” She originally debuted as a pin-up idol, but gained 7 kilos within a year after her debut. She loves sweets a little too much, say her colleagues. Due to her weight gain, she was put on a TV program in which she had to try a new diet. “Her agency claimed that if she gave up the diet, she would retire from showbiz,” said an entertainment reporter. “And she failed. Akiko Wada, who was on the show, scolded her for the failure.” On one of her DVDs, it shows her eating chips all the time."

This is the single greatest paragraph I have ever written about a Girl of the Moment. Hating her just feels so sweet! (See what I did there? Sweets? Fat ass? No? Okay.) My favorite part is when the Eternal Goddess of Keeping it Real, Akiko Wada, pretty much told her she was a lard-ass to her face. I'm glad someone is doing my job over there! The rest of the article is a pretty cursory overview of the top faces on television today, but they pretty much call Sawajiri Erika a lazy bitch and devote a whole paragraph to Nagasawa Masami's apparently huge knockers (mine are better) so I figured some of the straight men who read this site might want something to read for once rather than the JE-related drivel we usually post. If you're not a straight man and you care about these girls, you're probably the same people who are fans of Hamasaki Ayumi, and that pretty much rests my case right there.




Shut the fuck up about it, internet. What a fucking waste of DNA these losers are. I'd rather shit in my own mouth than listen to them squeal their drivel at me. These past months without them have been the best of my life and now YOU FUCKING RUINED COUNTDOWN FOR ME KITAGAWA. CHO SCANDALOUS IS ANGRY.

Happy New Year, Motherfuckers!

Friday, December 29, 2006

{Yao} 14sai no Hussy?

If you're like me and you Download Under the Influence of Boredom, you end up watching entirely too many dramas. Thus, that is why I'm probably going to be watching the finale of 14才の母 (14 year old mother) tonight against my better judgment. I still think the entire drama is an 11 hour propaganda piece aiming to guilt Japanese women into improving the birth rate....but I digress.

The star of the show is the 13-year-old Shida Mirai, who has been touted as the next big "it-girl" in the Japanese entertainment industry and who has up until now, a relatively clean reputation (hey, at least she didn't do any up the crotch shots for that gravure shot she did). But we all know people like dirt and dirt I have for you.

She has apparently been spotted 'canoodling' with Kamiki Ryuunosuke and Ya-Ya-yah's Yaotome Hikaru. Whatever, more power to her. I mean, if you've just got your period and those infamous secondary sexual traits are poppin' out, you'd probably go on a Johnny's Go-con too. Wait, did I mention that before? At any rate, it was 'mid-summer' apparently.

Of course, you can't have a gossip article about a pre-teen in Japan without the mention of some lecherous old man. The scriptwriter who brought you such quality JE-driven dramas such as Ningen Shikkaku (aka Kinki Kids get Kinky), Strawberry on the Shortcake (aka Takki gets Abba), and Pride (aka Kimutaku scores goals and Yuko Takeuchi), Nojima Shinji (43), is apparently 'chasing after her.' Grody.

"Nojima's taste (in women), to put it bluntly, are the 'baby-faced' type, as evidenced by his previous (interest) in people like Fukada Kyoko (Please, everyone with a penis and a wallet has done Fukakyo) and Adachi Yumi. He has the so-called 'lolita complex,' so it's no mystery that he's taken an interest in Shida." - a screenwriter.
He's also supposedly writing a drama for her now?


Oh ps, sorry for the lack of updates, but I'm in O-town and it's also my vacation!


Thursday, December 21, 2006

{Yao} Do I need to remind you why I don't like vis kei?


The visual kei band Phantasmagoria, based in the Kansai region's bassist/manager Matsuura Tadashi (Tadafumi? idk) (30) aka ~*~*~kisaki~*~*~ has been prosecuted by the Wakayama District Public Prosecutor's Office because of suspicions of violation of the income tax law, via failure to pay 46,000,000 yen in taxes. The proposed tax penalty, including heavy additional taxation, is an estimated 64,000,000 yen. According to the authorities, Matsuura has been active with his band in the Kita-ku area of Osaka, as well as producing other bands. He hid his earnings of 150,000,000 yen for a period of 3 years by depositing the revenue earned from concerts and CD sales into the bank accounts of family members without reporting them at all.
Phantasmagoria is a band known for its flashy costumes and make-up, located in Kansai but also touring nationwide. Matsuura said, "I wanted to leave some money for ads to allow (us) to go on TV etc."

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL. I pretty much hate all these random vis kei bands that have popped up post 2002. Visual kei was soooo 1998, if you still like it you probably shop at JcPenny.
1) How are you gonna try to be shifty and put several grand into yr grandpa's account
2) How are you gonna be dressed like this in 2006.
3) How are you gonna break the law in the least rock n' roll way possible when you probably sing about vampires and faeries and magicks?

Wahgnt. Anyway, on to music that doesn't suck a dick. When is the new ENDLICHERI☆ENDLICHERI coming out? I am too tired to google all the random forums on JE. Oh by the way next time you want to waste time you should totally do it at his site. It's bangin'.

pps. If I make another mistake in the 0's in all the tax evasion amounts lo siento in advance because I was woken up by my brother today at 7 am because my other brother was apparently 'dizzy.' Yeah, I don't know either, he apparently had a bad case of stomach flu and blew chunks all over. On the plus side I got all my Christmas shopping done. Ok, I need to stop treating this like my LJ.

To tell you the truth, I just spent 10 minutes trying to google "Fantasmagoria" and I kept on getting weird ass russian pages.


{Yao} Tired of me yet?

w/e just making up for finals week.

Anyway, if you're like 80% of the readership of this site, you're salivating over Johnny's Countdown that happens every New Year. All the JE acts except for SMAP get together, some big names from the 80s come back and do their greatest hits, and somebody in KAT-TUN throws a hissy fit about having to dance someone else's dance. If you have a PC and can figure out Clubbox, you can probably even watch it as you celebrate New Years in your own country (unless you live in Australia or smth).

It was announced on the 20th that at the annual Johnny's and Associates New Year's Eve [Johnny's Countdown 2006-2007] (Tokyo Dome) there will be a one-day unit of the 7 who will be "toshi otoko" (men of the year i.e. chinese zodiac year) next year.

  The members of the group formed by those born in the same Chinese year as 2007, the year of the boar, will be V6's Sakamoto Masayuki (35), Arashi's Matsumoto Jun (23) and Ninomiya Kazuya (23), KAT-TUN's Ueda Tatsuya (23) and Nakamaru Yuichi (23), Kanjani ∞'s Maruyama Ryuhei (23), and MA's Yara Tomoyuki (23). The memorial project for this group, "Inoshishi Seven," that surpasses group borders are still in planning.

  This will be the ninth Johnny's Dome Countdown. Last time 101 Johnny's came together including the "eldest" Kondo Masahiko (42) and Shonentai. It looks like this year will also have extravagant performances. President Johnny Kitagawa said, "This year will bring out the history of Johnny's."

  Along with a special KinKi Kids medly for their 10th anniversary next year, there are plans for some big name former Johnny's to appear. A collaboration between TOKIO and KAT-TUN, as well as all the hit songs of this year. The concert will be broadcast live on Fuji TV (11:45).

Chunishi addendum:
 SMAP, who will be in NHK's [Kohaku Utagassen], will not participate because Nakai Masahiro will be the host of the show. Also, while NEWS is not doing any work, the members, such as Yamashita Tomohisa (21), will appear. This concert will be braodcast live by Fuji TV on the 31st from 11:45.

Let's play "Guess Who The Special Guest Is." I don't think it's Okamoto or Akasaka and Sato because they're always there. Johnny's cryptic words could either mean that they're going to show even more old footage or that he's going to do something crazy and bring Hiromi Go into this whole melee even though he quit JE a long while ago. Idk, I just want them to force everyone to dance to GOLDFINGER '99 aka the Japanese remake of Living La Vida Loca. Lol.
A TOKIO and KAT-TUN collab? Wtf? I guess they were the only group that could stand working with them?
I can't wait for Kinki's 10 anniversary activities to kick in, even though I not so secretly want Dots to go off on his own and make pretentious music forever.
Also, LOL YamaP where'd yr group go?


Tuesday, December 19, 2006

{Yao} Old meme

When you translate "15 minutes of fame" into Japanese, you get "2 seconds of fame."
Here are a few notable female celebs whose 2 seconds seem to be up. You'd be surprised. Or not.

Actress: Ito Misaki
She initially garnered popularity as Hermes in "Densha Ototko," but horribly overacted in "Sapuri." Many of her fans had their ~*~*~dreams shattered~*~*~ when she finally got a role with more than 2 lines.
What can I say Ito Misaki is gorgeous but unless she's playing a role where she just stands there and acts ethereally pretty or plays a horribly clingy burikko, then you're pretty much in store for a snore fest. Can we talk about how much "Sapuri" sucked though? First of all, it had that ugly motherfucker Kame in it in yet another continuation of his Shuuji character (and prequel for his current character in Tatta Hitotsu no Koi). I don't know how or why Eita agreed to go along with it because he belongs in pretentious films, but he made it slightly more bearable. But I digress, Ito Misaki should just peace out of the acting game and just appear in nothing but tampax and Shiseido anti-wrinkle ads like Koyuki does now.

Model: Ebihara Yuri
The charismatic model is just fine when being photographed, but once she opens her mouth it's pretty evident that there's not much going on in her head. She tried her hand at acting, but she said her lines as if she were reading from a cue card. She's also accused of only being shot from one angle in all her commercials, and some particularly catty people claim that they can see wrinkles on close up shots.
I don't know if this is just some jealous fatties that are making it up but you have to admit the whole Ebi-chan love you!<3 bit is getting old. Don't tell Oshikiri Moe about her declining popularity, though. She may go in for the kill.

Singer: Otsuka Ai
There have been many accusations of plagiarism:
- 2005's "Smily" sounds like wyse's "Friend"
- This year's "Yumekui" very much sounds like Mika Nakashima's "Will"
- Her big hit "Sakuranbo" sounds like Judy and Mary's "Overdrive" and Hysteric Blue's "Little Trip"
Let's be real here, all horribly mainstream Japanese music sounds exactly like all other horribly mainstream pop music. I mean can we please talk about how Koda Kumi's "Puppy" song off of her new album sounds just like Rihanna's S.O.S.? Otsuka Ai already has the readership of CanCam hating her almost as much as Ayu, if she loses the support of horny men and girls who read those fake indie fashion mags then she's done for.

In summary, people don't want cute, they want cunt.

pseudo source

Friday, December 15, 2006

{Yao} 2 GANGSTA 4 U

Semi-breaking news. Or not idk I just came back from a history final exam.

It was revealed on the 15th (Japan time) that the vocalist of the popular band UVERWORLD, TAKUYA∞ (real name Shimizu Takuya) was arrested for interference with a public servant in the execution of his or her duties when he knocked off the hat of a police officer issuing him a traffic violation. He was taken to police headquarters in Oomori. He says, "I was waiting for someone and I got annoyed so I did it." He was released the next day. source

LOLLLLLLLLLLLLL. COPS CAN'T KEEP TAKUYAINFINITYSIGN DOWN! This is not as funny as Goro running over a police officer in his mad dash to escape from a parking violation fine!!!, but let's just sit for a moment and visualize him knocking off a polieman's hat.
For all of you who don't know, UVERWORLD is your run of the mill super-poppy nu-metal band with a large 14 year old girl following. The members are totally ugly but that doesn't stop most people from liking them. Well I guess UVERWORLD merchandise won't be carried in Kiddie Land anymore next to the Hello Kitty merchandise?

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

{Yao} [OIC] Japanese Anon BBSs Answer Your Pressing Questions! (1)

Q: How come SMAP never participates in Johnny's countdowns/J-friends?
A: Apparently, SMAP's female manager is on very bad terms with JE therefore, they never participate in JE-related agency-wide events. J-Friends on the other hand, was composed only of active groups at the time (1995) who had members from the Kansai region, because the group was formed to raise money for the great Kobe Earthquake. TOKIO has Johshima Shigeru from Nara, V6 has Okada Junichi from Osaka, and the Kinki Kids are obviously from the Kinki region. Some other suggest also that SMAP wasn't in J-Friends because "they'd look old" (LOL). There are also many rumors flying around about the diva like attitude SMAP has off camera and to be real I don't doubt it a bit. I mean if I had my own show that just consisted of me making fun of the guests I'd throw a cellphone at my assistant too.

Q: What's up with the whole Akanishi Jin pissing off the man who made him business?
A; The 'man who made him' would be Domoto Koichi. KAT-TUN originally was basically a young, fugly looking hand-picked group of back dancers for a specific musical-lovin' sempai. Kind of like MA except with more members and no Ricky Martin aka Jun Akiyama (what? he looks like Ricky Martin). Anyway, for DoKo's (Domoto Koichi fyi. Hereafter, Domoto Tsuyoshi is going to be referred to as Dots kk?) ongoing Shock musical series, he picked 6 promising post-op Jrs. During practice, Jin was wearing a pair of pants that had some big, probably frumpy chain attached to it that was flying around and Koichi told him "That (chain)'s dangerous. Take it off." However, apparently after this Jin would moan and bitch to the other members about how Doko is "pissing him off" and he somehow turned Doko's warning into some story about Doko punching him. The threads are pretty divided between "KAT-TUN are cocksuckers" and "Y U LIE ABOUT KAWAII KATTUN??!?!" so I'll leave it to you to decide whether this is plausible or not.

Q: How come no JE acts are ever in JUNON, despite the fact that it's supposed to be an idol magazine? How come JE acts never perform with Vision Factory boy bands?
A: About 4 years ago, JUNON stopped featuring JE acts in their magazine. There was lots of talk about the cause being the ongoing Vision Factory vs Johnny's Entertainment warfare going on and that Vision offered JUNON's publishers some sort of amazing deal to seal a contract with them, but it seems like the opposite was the case. JUNON's publisher also publishes "Shukan Josei" which is a gossip magazine that features tons of JE scandals. JE got pissed and prohibited JUNON from featuring their talents. Thus, JUNON was rejected by the hot guy in class and had to go to prom with her gay friend. Similarly, JE gets mad pissed when music shows want to have the competition on at the same time, and I think it's safe to guess based on all the Music Station and HEYx3 tributes to JE and the fact that Hikaru Genji used to be a regular on Music Station that JE won. Suck on that w-inds!


Sunday, December 10, 2006


From JapanZone-

"Rock musician Ayanokoji Sho got married on Thursday. He made the announcement on his official blog on Friday night, adding that his bride was an "ordinary person" (the usual expression for someone not in showbiz) that he met earlier in the year in London. He said they hope to hold a wedding ceremony next June. Ayanokoji, vocalist of the six-member "yankee rock" band Kishidan, has recently found chart success as DJ Ozma and he is currently on a solo tour. In 2003, he was romantically linked with Puffy member Yoshimura Yumi (31), but they broke up at the end of last year."

This is sad news to me, because to be honest, I always had a crush on him in that totally Let's Do It Under The Bleachers And Then Vandalize The Gym! way. Oh, Sho-yan. Make me a pompadoured baby at least.

.....Also, isn't Yumi the one who was married to T.M.R.? But they got divorced last year because she cheated on his closeted ass? If so, lololololololololololololollol.

Friday, December 08, 2006

{Yao} 7 Recent Johnny's Rumors

1. Yah-Yah-Yah (or whatever the fuck they're called because who actually cares) member Yamashita Shoon, who goes to Horikoshi is being ousted by his classmates because of an entanglement with a girl.
Maybe he's just being ousted because he's a dick? What, did he try to put his penis in some politician's son's girl or something?
2. Kanjani8's Yokoyama Yu gave a $30,000 bag to his favorite hostess.
LOLOLOL sounds pretty accurate to me.
3. Akanishi Jin fans are boycotting KT-TUN's new single.
Why is it always one thing or another for all y'all motherfuckers? Not that I'm complaining, because this is the first time they're doing something I would do aka not buy KAT-TUN paraphernalia.
4. Around the end of October, Nakamaru Yuuichi was spotted on a date with a model-like girl. He bought her some shingen rice...whatever that is.
Wow, that fug gets around.
5. Kitayama Hiromitsu was seen going to a Saitama hospital for chlamydia.
I crown thee the lul of the week. The only way the totally faggy guy from ks my ft or whatever the hell his jr group is called can get into the news is if he gets an STD. Lollllllllllllll.
6. Kanjani8's playboy NISHIKADO ROY made a pass at Ohkura Tadayoshi's girl so now there's tension between them.
Just get another girl? What ever happened to straight pimpin'? Personally though, I'd rather date Ohkura - bitch has money and a dad in the yakitori business!
7. KAT-TUN's Nakamaru Yuuichi asked Kamenashi Kazuya to set him up on a Go-con with a female announcer. but turned down Takashima Aya with a "No."
So now he's a picky fug?

There were originally 8 but who the hell cares about Jin's little brother getting stalked?

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

{VERONICA}hilarious picture of the day!

Image Hosted by

All too fittingly, Koda Kumi and Fergie share the cover of S Cawaii this month. Personally, I think they should probably be sharing a double dildo and a cigarette, but maybe next time. More pictures over at OHNOTHEYDIDNT!

Drama Prospectus Winter 2007

I have been doing drama prospecti for a while on my private LJ, but what the hell? If I'm going to wade through a bunch of Touching Family Dramas and get right to the good stuff (well, good on paper at least), my toil should at least be able to save you a lot of hassle/perhaps tip you off to the undiscovered gem of the season. Remember, this isn't a complete list by any means, this is just a list of dramas that will most likely pique your interest, meaning I left out the dramas that are obviously for octogenarians.

Without further ado, both of us present...


Tokyo Tower 2007

Synopsis: A realistic portrayal of the love between parent and child."
Translation: Wake me up when Moco takes off his shirt.
Notable Actors: Hayami Mocomichi
Yao: I understand that the original book was widely acclaimed but I can really only take so many family dramas. Normally, I would toss this aside along with the NHK dramas but this is supposedly Moco's first "MON-9" (aka prime time) drama so I'll watch the pilot just in case.
Veronica: I'm gonna be real-- Moco is old meme until he either a. gets naked, or b. fucking does something interesting. I mean, I know, I know, he's only alive for us to stare at his tan and taut skin, but jesus, if I don't see some ass or fucking or both soon, it's on to a new man. Also, I don't like his orange hair.

Haikei, Chichiue-sama (Dear Father,)

Synopsis: Set in the traditional quarters of Kagurazaka, the story revolves around a traditional Japanese restaurant "Sakashita." The chef is Ippei (Ninomiya), who is trying to search for his father. His mother is a former geisha. Ippei's junior is Nakagawa (Yokoyama). - rough translation from official site.
Translation: It's hard to go wrong with food related comedies. Unless you're Teppan Shoujo Akane.
Notable Actors: Ninomiya Kazunari, Yokoyama Yu
Yao: It's supposed to be a comedy guys, despite the fact that the writer is the guy who did Yasashii Jikan. This is Nino's first role in a comedy since Stand Up!!, and just when I thought he'd leave forever into "i'm too much of a serious actor for dramas" land, he comes back with this. Do I sense the Nino+Yasashii Jikan writer relationship the new Kusanagi Tsuyoshi+Boku no Aruku Michi writer?
Veronica: This had better be funny, or else they are wasting two of the funniest males in JE. Seriously, if Yao and I could write for Nino and Yoko as leads, they would live in space, have super powers and share a room with Former President Andrew Jackson. But no, they're gonna be whining about familiar relations for 9 episodes and then one of them will die. Yawn.

Himitsu no Hanazono (Secret Garden)

Synopsis: Sonoda Natsuyo is a bumbling editor who is transferred to the shojo manga editorial department after the publication of her fashion magazine is discontinued. She is put in charge of popular manga writer Hanazono Yuriko, but later discovers that Hanazono is truly the creative effort of four weird brothers. - dramawiki
Translation: Let's guess which guy she's going to fall for! Hint: Probably not the 16 year old.
Notable Actors: Kaname Jun, Shaku Yumiko
Yao: If you google the name of the drama all you get is hentai?
Veronica: Kaname Jun is pretty hot. I may watch 1 episode of this just to see if that girl's head is as plasticky looking as it is in that picture. Oh, also, this reminds me of that stupid manga Fruits Basket where that developmentally disabled girl started living with some animals that were actually human brothers or something so she wouldn't die in a tent. Yao knows more about this because she is an otaku.

Konshuu, Tsuma ga Uwaki shimasu (This Week, My Wife Will Have An Affair)
Synopsis: Yusuke Santamaria plays a cuckolded husband to Ishida Yuriko's character, a career woman with an apparel company. - Dramawiki
Translation: Domestic violence, female empowerment, hot fashion.
Notable Actors: Yuusuke Santamaria, Ishida Yuriko
Yao: I enjoyed Yuusuke Santamaria back in Odoru Daisosasen and I do enjoy my DV dramas, but then again I'm not in my mid-thirties aka the target audience of this drama.
Veronica: Wahgnt.

Haken no Hinkaku (The Dignity of a Temporary Worker)

Synopsis: Haruko is a responsible and capable OL who earns 3,000 yen an hour and has 28 people under her charge. She, however, never cracks a smile, is cold, never minces her words and leaves the office on the dot. Haken no Hinkaku is a timely drama that examines the differences in the treatment of an OL dispatched by a food manufacturer to a supermarket and regular employees, and the ways to overcome frictions in interpersonal relationships. It follows in the wake of an October report on labor conditions by the Labor Ministry, which showed that the proportion of regular employees to OLs had doubled compared to that eight years ago, after a relaxation of regulations. - Dramawiki
Translation: Two parts Damensu Walker mixed with a little bit of Kimi wa Pet, minus the pet.
Notable Actors: Shinohara Ryoko, Kato Ai, EX-PRIME MINISTER KOIZUMI'S HOT SON
Yao: Ex-PM Koizumi's son is so hot. Yeah, I guess this means I'm watching this too.
Veronica: Wait, so they're making a show about labor conditions? "RIPPED FROM THE HEADLINES-- a very special LABOR CONDITIONS-RELATED 'LAW AND ORDER'." And PM Koizumi's son had better be a damn good actor, because he's not THAT hot.

Erai Tokoro ni Yomeide Shimatta! (I've Been Married Off to A Terribly Good Place!)
Synposis: Kimiko is an unfeminine, sloppy wife who is a bad cook and housekeeper but is somehow mistaken for a "good wife" by her meddlesome, tradition-bound mother-in-law, Shimako. Isojiro is a good looking man who tries to please everybody around him. - Dramawiki
Translation: ...........
Notable Actors: Nakama Yukie, Tanihara Shosuke
Yao: And just when you thought Nakama Yukie was done with dramas where she plays some sort of bumbling character, here she is again. Don't get me wrong, I think Nakama is lovely (except for that horrid single she put out for KDDI AU, yuck) but I'm watching this for Tanihara Shosuke, who I've been in love with ever since he was in Ooku.
Veronica: I'm trying to be negative about this, but I have a feeling this will be hilarious and heartwarming. I have nothing to back this up but female intuition. (You're singing that song in your head right now, aren't you.)

Warui Yatsura (Bad Folks)
Synopsis: The last in a three-part adaptation of Matsumoto Seicho's works. Yonekura Ryoko plays a nurse who turns into a stalker (and murderer). In a slight deviation from the original storyline, the drama starts off with a nurse in love with a doctor, played by Kamikawa Takaya, and proceeds its depiction as her life spirals out of control. - Dramawiki
Translation: It's like a Kiraware Matsuko no Issho except not as good.
Notable Actors: Yonekura Ryoko aka the busted looking girl in our header.
Yao: I love dramas about how someone's life gets ruined.
Veronica: This is going to be hilarious to me. Unless it's really boring like Byakuyakou where they just wax poetic about love while killing people and stealing. Sigh. Just break the law so I can be entertained! I don't need your fake Bonnie and Clyde bullshit. The Japanese are almost more obsessed with Schadenfreude than us Americans!

Hana Yori Dango 2 (Very difficult to translate, a pun on "Pudding Before Praise")

Synopsis: Do we even need one? The continuation of ridiculously rich Domyoji Tsukasa's romancing of Makino Tsukushi.
Notable Actors: Matsumoto Jun, Inoue Mao, Oguri Shun, Matsuda Shota
Yao: If this sequel sucks, I am personally going to put glue in someone's drink. This is basically the most talked about drama, with random arashi fans tripping balls over it back in March or something.
Veronica: Okay, I'm going to be completely real with you. When the first Hana Yori Dango was announced I cried in the middle of my college's computer lab. Listen, shut up, I was hormonal and I had just gotten into Arashi. I pretty much memorized every episode of the anime and read all of the manga in like 7th grade. (this is the part where my friend Justin goes "NNNERD!") I mean, come on, think about this. Clearly Doumyoji Tsukasa and I are meant to be together. He is almost as badass as I am. Wait, what was I talking about again? Oh, right. This sequel is gonna be the jam. I don't know why Yao is being pessimistic; IKUTA FUCKING TOMA is in the very first episode playing this dude who almost rapes Tsukushi and then beats Domyouji's ass instead. I promise you it is almost as erotic as that time Tsukushi got dragged behind a car for cheating on him.

I don't even know why I wasted my breath on this-- you motherfuckers will watch anything with MJ in it.

Tokumei Kakarichou Tadano Hitoshi 3 (Hitoshi Tadano, the Extraordinary Undercover Detective 3)

Synposis: An incompetent and invisible “Mr. Nobody” at work, but turns into a sexy, handsome, and intelligent savior at night! A new type of super hero is here to stamp out social evil!
A new type of super hero is here! Tadano Hitoshi is an assistant manager of an advertisement company who seems to be nothing but a dull and incapable “nobody”. While most of the employees wonder why such a passive and incompetent person like Hitoshi is yet to be laid off, there is just one person who heavily relies on him as a “savior” to the company, the CEO. In fact, the “Mr. Nobody” is simply a disguise from the real Hitoshi, as he is under various special missions of the CEO to quietly carry on his “extraordinary ” task to fight against the corruption of the company. Originally from a big hit comic book!

Translation: How many boobs can we see in a half-hour?
Notable Actors: nobody actually but that doesn't matter
Yao: What the synopsis doesn't tell you is that this shows late and night and the protagonist makes women have orgasms just by looking at them. You wish I were kidding.
Veronica: I'm gonna watch it, but I'm a pervert.

Karei naru Ichizoku (The Magnificent Family)

Synopsis: Originally a novel by Yamasaki Toyoko, and later a 1974 movie. Manpyo Teppei is an executive managing director of a steel firm. The book depicts the conflicts within the Manpyo family, which is famous in Kansai's financial circles, amidst the tumultuous reorganisation of the financial industry of 1970s. Unlike the book, the eldest son, Teppei, and not the father, Daisuke, will be the central character of the story.
Translations: The problems of the rich and good looking!
Notable Actors: Kimura Takuya, Yamada Yu, Narimiya Hiroki, Yanagiba Toshiro
Yao: Let's all say it in unison: Kimutaku Drama. At long last. This and HYD2 are the reasons why they had to scrape the bottom of the actor barrel for everything else.
Veronica: Here's how this drama is gonna go-- Kimutaku rides in to town on motorcycle. He is wearing a leather jacket and tight designer khakis and his hair is blowing in the wind. He stops to give a little child some candy he has in his pocket, while remarking to himself that "he hopes he never has to chase around any damn rugrats of his own!" Oh he's a renegade, alright. As he lopes to his parents' humble house, he wonders how they will react when he tells them that he has decided to not take over the Family Business so he can follow his childhood dream 0f being a Shark Hunter. His mother weeps, his father threatens to cut him off, but Kimura-kun has heard it all before! He's gonna do whatever it takes to be the best Shark Hunter there is! That is, until his father's beautiful yet sassy gardener marches in, slaps him, and tells him he should respect his parents instead of being selfish. She tells him that when she was 8 her parents were eaten by bears as she watched helplessly, tied up by the rapist who was also attacking her in the same forest. Kimutaku is touched, and tries to hide his feelings for like nine fucking episodes, until the end when he gets his arm bitten off by a Shark off the coast of Chiba. Sitting in a hospital room, he realizes he will be alone forever, because the only woman he wants won't see him for some reason they never quite explain. But then! She shows up! With brownies! Incensed by her visage, he leaps out of bed, confesses his undying love, carries her to his motorcycle, and uses his stump to steer them into the sunset, this time with two heads of hair blowing in the wind.

Damn, I can't wait!

Enka no Joou (Enka Queen)

Synopsis: Himawari is an unsuccessful 39-year-old enka singer. She has bad luck with men and money. Born in an Osaka takoyaki shop, the young Himawari was inspired by her father's words to immerse herself in Japanese enka. However, when she was 13, her father disappeared. Her mother who'd remarried, treated her harshly. After graduating from high school, Himawari heads to Tokyo and makes her debut as an enka singer. - dramawiki
Translation: LOL.
Notable Actors: The lady from Joou no Kyoushitsu
Yao: I personally don't have enough patience for this, but if you dig enka then by all means be my guest.
Veronica: I'm too worn out from the last paragraph to write about this. Probably boring.

Kirakira Kenshuui (Sparking Doctor-in-Training)
Synopsis: The main character is Oda Usako, who is a new graduate from medical school who is in training in a local hospital. She's a bit of a klutz and causes some problems but she works with all her might and does her best!!! - rough trans from official site
Notable Actors: Konishi Manami, Eiji Wentz
Yao: What are they trying to do here? It's everything I hate: an episodic GANBARU! drama with the girl who sucked from Orange Days and a WaT member. I mean can I be real here? It's like they wanted to make a less sexist N's Aoi except they didn't have enough money for a reject JE member.
Veronica: Eiji Wentz is an example of Mixed Race Gone Wrong. I am at the other end of the spectrum, so I don't associate with flawed hybrids like him. And why is he so damn earnest?

Drama Special: Byakkotai

Synopsis: A re-make of the 1986 hit, which scored 80-percent in the Aizu district of Fukushima prefecture.
"Byakkotai" seems to be a story by which the content of the drama visits Byakkotai Memorial Hall by a modern young person who is the descendant of a Byakkotai samurai, and traces the history of the tragedy of the Byakkotai in the force organized by about 340 boys of 16 years old and 17 years old at Boshin War (Aizu war). Yamashita performs two roles (a Byakkotai samurai in the old days and the descendant's Shintaro Sakai)
- dramawiki
Translation: How do we get 14 year old girls into Japanese history? Let's call JE.
Notable Actors: Yamashita Tomohisa, Tanaka Koki, Overly Tan guy from some jrs. group, Higashiyama Noriyuki.
Yao: And this is the obligatory "let's endear the younger JE stars to the old folks" drama. I'm going to watch this for Higashiyama but how much you want to be he's going to be there for five seconds and the rest of the SP will just be YamaP running around in the forest giving speeches about how everything is a TEST OF THE HEART!!!
Veronica: Sounds gay. Literally. They are going to write a million fanfics about this.

Well, it seems like it's a chick drama season.

Monday, December 04, 2006

{Yao} And these are even more embarrassing

Supposedly taken on 11/23 in LA yet again.
Instead of stating the obvious about proper decorum you should practice if you have half of asia sucking on your dick when drunk, let's guess how many death threats we're going to get yet again.


Oh and ps, this post was on one of those Japanese threads and it's pretty much lol:

This is a true story, but there will be some who won't believe it.
Tanaka Koki goes to my college...and he sat next to me so we talked a lot (we exchanged email addresses and telephone numbers(^^♪)
Ater that, Koki got busy with work and couldn't come to school much, so I was a bit disappointed.
But, one afternoon I got a text message, and it was from Koki!
It said "I showed your picture to the other members and there was a good response. Also, your facial features are Jin's 'type'...he wants to meet you today so wait at the nearby TSUTAYA at 9pm.
After finishing school I went come and got like, totally cute and when I went to our meeting spot at 9, Jin was there!
He said, "Ah, hello. Are you the girl in the sha-mail? You're really cute." and I was really really flattered. After that we ate dinner, shopped...
"Well, let's get to the main course," he said.
"'Main'?" I asked and he said, "Look forward to it!" It was totally like a date and awesome.
The main course was Jin's house. "Nobody's home today, so no need to worry," he said and I relaxed.
When I entered his room, YamaP was there and he said, "Jin, yer late!"
"My bad, like I promised I brought her."
I was a little surprised but a bit happy. But, right then, Jin embraced me from behind. He grabbed both of my arms and threw me on the bed.
"Sorry, He's rough," said YamaP. After that Jin took off my clothes, and licked me all over.
YamaP said, "Let's do a threesome."
"Yeah. She'd like it too," said Jin.
I said, "Jin stop..." but Jin and Yamapi kept on going, and I was panting, and I was told, "Your voice is so cute," and "Let out more sounds, or else..." and I was raped by them two.


"Akanishi-kun's (language) class placement was class 3B out of 7, which is quite a dumb class. At that time (after placement), his excuse was, "The test results said I should be in level 5 but level 5 has too many Japanese people, so I told them to put me in level 3."

I generally hate all the JE jokes circulating around on the internet, but the source blog entitled these pictures JIN'S "NEW" REAL FACE? which you have to admit, is loltastic.

Saturday, December 02, 2006

{Yao} Only AA Thinking XXX

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Based on your feedback, we've decided to a "great moments in scandal history" feature, because as human beings, it is our duty to learn from history. Or just laugh at it.

Anyway, remember back in high school when you were just weaning yourself off horrible anime and chinese dramas based on manga? Remember how the first "real" live action Japanese movie you managed to borrow from your friend was a movie called "Battle Royale," which you thought was hxxxxxcore because everyone pretty much dies? Well, one of the actresses, Kamiya Sayaka got BUBKA'd in the worst way possible February 2005 when she had her nude pictures printed.

Hmm, I wonder what's on her chest. And this is the "PG" picture too. There's a complete full frontal nude picture of her also but if I'm not mistaken, only women and gay men read this blog so I'll spare you the pre-brunch queasiness. If I am mistaken, and straight men for some reason also peruse this site, you can j.o. to it here. It's probably going to get baleeted anyway but you're not missing much.

The moral of the story is to destroy all the evidence BEFORE you embark on a messy breakup with your boyfriend.

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