Monday, November 13, 2006

{VERONICA} we had almost decided to stop doing kattun news :(

Things I hate:
1. Akanishi Jin
4. Anime Musicals in general

Somehow though, I've been tapped to write about them. THIS IS NOT HOW I WANTED TO SPEND MY FAKE "SICK DAY".

An email mole tipped us off to this rare interesting post over at kattunlove (most things at kattunlove ARE interesting, but in that way where you're at the zoo and you're watching the monkeys throw feces at each other and then eat it. You know.). It would seem that Shirota Yuu's batshit crazy spanish mother went off on a tirade about the entertainment business on a radio show and her comments seemed to be supporting Jin in his time of Deep Educational Turmoil. (Hands up if you have or know a crazy spanish mother and can totally relate to this. )In true fangirl style however, the commenters spend entirely too much time translating the article and come to the conclusion that she is crazy and could be saying fucking anything. They actually don't even know if she's speaking cryptically about her son, or Jin! They also seem to think that Shirota's mother is either supporting Jin, or slandering JE and trying to get publicity for D-Boys, the second largest boys' talent agency in Japan. NO SHIT, SHIRLOCK. This is such bullshit, why am I even posting this again?

And why should Shirota Yuu's mom even give a shit about Akanishi Jin? Jin and Yuu, along with Yamapi are part of what i like to call the Idol Cabal, which consists most of the attractive men from HoriKoshi Academy just fucking girls. All the time. I know it happens. Idol Cabal alumni include Ikuta Toma, Hasegawa Jun, Koike Teppei, and Matsujun. Jimmy Mackey is a member too, but he went to an International School and no one wants to fuck him except for me. So they're like, brothers in fucking, and Shirota's mom says he's like a son to her, and she's mad about how the entertainment business is treating him.

Or, she's actually talking about Shirota Yuu, and he really IS her son, and she's mad about how the entertainment business is treating him.

I fucking hate kattunlove.

Yao Edit: I did a translation of the not redundant places in the comments. This lady is fucking crazy, basically she's like OY CHICOS I'M SPANISH SO I DO WHAT I WANT FUCK YOU JOHNNY'S ENTERTAINMENT! YEAH SEND YR YAKUZA AFTER ME I'LL SLAP THEM all because some chinese fans are claiming on the blogs that Jin is a deserter. The translations at kattun love suck a dick and fail to realize that she's talking about Jin and not her own son (well mostly, i'm sure she's also upset about chinese fans like, e-sucking on her son's dick) She manages to blame assassination threats, sex depravation, youth crime, and basically all that is wrong with the world on the media and JE and compares them to North Korea. She makes herself a martyr of 'speaking out against the man' and she also is a publicity whore in general and basically tells the Japanese people that they're lying pussies.

Goddamn she wins the obnoxious gaijin of the year award. And I thought I won it when I cut in front of a line of like 100 people for free samples in Shibuya.

Also, I also wish we had other news NOT about gay ass Jin but what can I say he's like the Paris Hilton of J-ent.


Anonymous said...

If that lady hates the Japanese entertainment industry that badly, I suggest she should just take her son out of it and shut up? When was the entertainment industry said to be a really honest, happy and whatever industry? Everyone know it's a dark cruel world to gain the spotlight at the end of the day or fade into oblivion.

YAO said...

Since nobody cared to do a more detailed/not chinglish translation over at kattun love I've translated all the important bits/stuff that wasn't repeated for the 20th time:

Pepi: You know, Japanese people love trouble.
...they love making a moutain out of something very small.
DJ: Yeah, they'll stretch and stretch and stretch something out until it becomes a big deal
Pepi: Yeah, it hasnt' only started now, it's been going on for 6 years now
DJ: Pepi-san, you've been in the news quite a lot, even I'e seen your name in the papers.
Pepi: I'll be frank: all of that is slander.
It's all a bunch of lies.
I've treated him like he was my own son.
I speak with him on the phone, i've spoken with him just the other day.
To everyone who's listening, there's only one thing i want to say
On tv 99.95% of what is being said is a lie.
i just want you to understand that.
they have no basis for anything and they just say things
But you know, the people who piss me off the most are those who just listen to the lies and believe them.

YAO said...

DJ: That's right, TV is just "Misinformation Journalism"
They have no concern for people's human rights nor do they think of others at all
Pepi: Of course, to me they're like animals
Pepi: So, I told the newspaper reporter, "Don't you forget that I'm not Japanese!"
Japanese people would usually be all like, "well let's just wait until it all blows over" without doing anything, but this isn't some joke
I saw on the news that some middle school kid sent the cabinet minister a letter saying "if you don't do this i'm going to kill you"
Why do we have a board of education? why do we have police? Nobody's doing anything!
they're human but they're not, all they do is lie so all the children become lost
so that's why people sell panties and stuff
it's natural that children become lost by seeing what adults are doing
That child (Jin) is a victim
(Jin) had to say exactly what the Jimusho wanted him to, so that's why he ran away.
He couldn't say (what he wanted) so he ran, if he said anything (improper) something bad would happen so he ran
so that's why he had to pull such extreme measures
(The Jimusho)'s tactics are just like North Korea's that what i wanted to say
If I said the truth, the Jimusho would be shut down. No matter how many Yakuza or whoever are standing in the shadows behind them, it'd be the end of it.
They're taking away a person's right to live!
"Do this. If you don't do it something's going to happen"

(after she talks aoubt the media being liars for the nth time)

DJ: so what you're saying is to 'say it to my face'?
Pepi: Yes. Say it. I'll have a reply so go ahead and say it.
I'm not afraid of anything, so bring it on!

pepi: I don't think you all understand what i'm trying to say.
I know everything so that's why i can say this
when you become famous people want to know everything about you. that's natural.
i understand
they put on this phony press conference
but they don't let him speak for himself
so everyone around him will be like "what's up with his irresponsibility?" "what is he talking about?"
but if you're really an adult, you'll understand that what he said was not what he really wanted to say at all
it's just what the jimusho wants him to say
in spanish we have a saying "las mentiras tiene patas cortas" which means 'lies have short legs"
which means that they'll be exposed soon. they'll surely be exposed

nobody helped him out at all.

it's so dirty, this is Japan, folks, with such dirty tactics

Pepi: his fans don't understand at all.
I want them to understand that he's not irresponsible
It's a lie that he just up and left the group as he pleased
So please understand that.

shelby said...

i lvoe you guys but seriously, using your elite translating skill to make sense of this pile of gaijin war propoganda? <3

At least now the cool kids in fandom who read choscandy will know for sure that Yuu's mom is a CRAAZYYYY BITCH who forgot to take her meds before she went on some flying anti-THE COMPANY THAT PROBS NEVER ACCEPTED MY VERY TALENT SON LOLLLL tyrade.

p.s. vron what are you talking about being the only one, mackey is pretty much the hottest half-jap shit ever. mmmm girl

Anonymous said...

how come i had to read through 32490832 translations to get to a competent one

why do i even bother reading the comments on kattunlove. i should prob just come straight here


Anonymous said...

for someone who hates on KAT-TUN twice and Jin especially it seems, I'm sure as hell glad that you two did this and translated the report. things are making a bit more sense right now.

Adam said...

I find all of this drama absolutely hilarious. But I've been checking out some Japanse rumor sites and half of the shit looks like they just made it up, so I don't see why you can't make up stuff too. Might be interesting.

The biggest article that pissed me off was this one.


grace said...


I mean, so the woman who talks to Jin every day and treats him like her own son just outright admitted that Jin has done some wrong shit, right? Because she says...
"He himself did do some things that were wrong, so in a press conference, if they expressed that his punishment for that was to be put on hiatus, that's acceptable."

I mean, if the woman who sees Jin as her own son admits that he did some wrong shit worthy of putting him on hiatus, then I mean, I can only say tough luck if they made him leave, in any way, shape, or form. Fair or not, that's the real world sucka! At least they let him go overseas so he can get crunked at Halloween Parties instead of shutting him up in the JE dungeon and letting him rot.
それでも不満だったら、それに対して物申せるぐらいえらくなりなさいよ。今のままじゃ同情なんかちっとも感じませ~ん 。わがまま言ってんじゃねぇよ!ってウザく感じるだけ!

Eve said...

Koki went to that school too, but I think he's excluded from attractive men?? lol

Bonita said...

LOL, Horikoshi but please take a look at the list below:

Horikoshi Highschool is located in Nakano, Tokyo. A private school run by Horikoshi Gakuen. They have an accrediting system which is favorable for geinojin and sports players who can't commute to school everday.
For this reason, the school have produced a lot of famous talents and artists so far.

The alumni goes like this.

Male graduates
Born in 50's
Noguchi Goro, Eto Hirotoshi, Tamamoto Masao
Born in 60's
Sanada Hiroyuki, Kawasaki Mayo, Hasebe Toru, Soga Yasuhisa, Nagase Masatoshi, Aizaki Shinya, Takemoto Takayuki, Hikaru Ippe
Born in 70's
Inagaki Goro, Kusanagi Tsuyoshi, Hara Tomohiro, Matsuoka Masahiro, Domoto Tsuyoshi, Tsutsui Michitaka, Akasaka Akira, Sato Atsuhiro, Ichikawa Ebizo, Ogami Kikunosuke
šdrop out : Maki Kurodo, Nagase Tomoya
Born in 80's
Okada Junichi, Matsumoto Jun, Yamashita Tomohisa, Koike Teppei, Tegoshi Yuya, Ikuta Toma, Hasegawa Jun, Yamashita Shon, Akiyama Ju, Toshin Yoshikazu, Kitayama Hiromitsu, Takahashi Issei, Shiroda Yu, Wakaba Tatsuya, Nakamura Shichinosuke, Yamazaki Yuta, Tanaka Koki
š drop out : Ichihara Hayato, Moriuchi Takahiro, Fujiwara Tatsuya, Matsuda Ryuhei
Born in 90's
Yabu Kota, Yagira Yuya

Female graduates
Born in 50's
Sakaguchi Ryoko, Ishikawa Sayuri, Ikegami Kimiko, Iwasaki Hiromi, Sakakibara Ikue, Mori Masako, Katahira Nagisa, Hayashi Hiroko
Born in 60's
Matsuda Seiko, Minamino Yoko, Okada Yukiko, Asano Yuko, Fujitani Miwako, Hayami Yu, Ohba Kumiko, Matsumoto Akiko, Matsumoto Iyo, Kai Chiemi, Morina Miharu, Honda Minako, Hori Chiemi, Hiki Rie, Moriguchi Hiroko, Oginome Yoko, Ishino Yoko, Takeda Kumiko, Imori Miyuki, Iwasaki Yoshimi, Kashiwabara Yoshie, Kudo Yuki, Yamase mami, Miyazaki Masumi, Watanabe Minayo, Nagayama Yoko, Moritaka Chisato, Kurasawa Atsumi, Ishida Eri, Yagi Saori , Takabe Tomoko, Yasuhara Reiko, Aida Miho, Okamura Yukiko, Kimura Aki
šdrop out : Koide Hiromi
Born in 70's
Matsu Takako, Tomosaka Rie, Sakurai Sachiko, Sakai Noriko, Fukatsu Eri, Takaoka Saki, Sato Hitomi, Maikaze Rira, Nagai Miyuki, Tanaka Ritsuko, Wakabayashi Shiho, Takahashi Yumiko, Nakajo Kanako, Nishimura Tomomi, Ishida Hikari, Kodaka Emi, Honda Risa, Nito Yuko, Ito Miki, Hayasaka Yoshie, Akimoto Yuki, Natsuka Rimi, Saito Makiko, Yamazaki Mayumi, Tamura Eriko
šdrop out : Hamasaki Ayumi, Nishino Taeko
Born in 80's
Ayase Haruka, Aoi Yu, Suzuki An, Nagasawa Masami, Kurokawa Mei, Kurokawa Tomoka, Hirayama Aya, Sakai Ayana, Fukada Kyoko, Kitagawa Hiromi, Kawashima Ai, Adachi Yumi, Sato Eriko, Yamaguchi Sayaka, Shiina Noriko, Mizuki Nana, Nishie Saori, Nonami Maho, Nakane Kasumi, Kakiuchi Ayami
šdrop out : Ueto Aya, Abiru Yu

PS: you can see who's dropping out from the school too. Oh please write about Horikoshi..onegai..roflmao.

Nichole said...

Hey now, don't knock my lame ass translation. I prefaced and.... sur... no.... afterfaced it with "IDEK WHAT THE HELL I'M TALKIN ABOUT". I was just tired of the repetativeness and fangirlOMGZNO.

Anonymous said...

Hey! Why you hate Akanishi Jin and Kat-tun?
Who hate Akanishi Jin and Kat-tun do you know you are very idiot.

because they are independent.

I trust in them .

Anonymous said...

Yuu's nose is fucking giant and his mom is a crazy latino who wants attention from the media.

I know a few latino mothers myself and they act exactly like his mother.


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