Thursday, November 23, 2006

{Veronica} OBEY TRYPTOPHAN. KILL MIYAVI.

Well, for us Americans, it's officially the "Most Wonderful Time of the Year". I spent the majority of my day laying in bed drifting in and out of sleep and watching 5 straight hours of Nodame Cantabile. I haven't heard from Yao at all, but I also know she's just bought Final Fantasy XII (finally) so there goes any chance of her writing a post this weekend.

Anyway, because I'm too food-tired, lazy, and dreading my work day tomorrow to find some real news or do actual research on Yamapi apparently getting caught cheating on a test at Meiji this week, I'll let y'all in on another edition of "WHEN AMERICAN PEOPLE MEET JAPANESE STARS AND ACT LIKE ASSHOLES." This one comes from another anonymous (to you anyway) tipster and tells the story of what really happens when you meet Miyavi in a lingerie store: absolutely nothing. Can we talk about how Miyav/bi is the most overrated, completely retarded rockstar anyhow? Clearly none of you 12 year old Jrockers remember when he was ugly, pimply and untalented in Due le Quartz like 7 years ago. With that lead singer who looked like a shrew. It was a dark point in my life, but at least I know now this dude is nothing to write home about instead of wasting money on some overblown, overpierced, glorified fetish model with a hankerin' for the brand new Pink! pajama sets (on sale now for $50!)

Whatever, I'll shut up now and go take (my third) nap. From here on out is copied and pasted from an email, so don't send your boyfriend to sue me over it or anything, ok?

"I am no fan of Miyavi, but seeing some known Jrocker at a mall in the San Fernando Valley was rather odd.

I came out of "The Children's Place" or whatever that store is called and then him and his staff/friends walked passed me and without thinking I was like, "OH MY GAWD THAT'S MIYAVI!" I never even wondered why he would be in America. I recognized the nose and lip ring right away and followed him and his groupie but when I asked one of the staff/friend person, "Excuse me, is that Miyavi-san?" and the staff guy said, " Erm. No. yeah...." and walked off talking to Miyavi. But I was like, "Dude, no one has a nose ring and lip ring like those except Miyavi." thus I stalked him around half the mall and ended up at... VICTORIA'S SECRET.

WHAT THE HELL? Even I don't shop at that store. So I saw this Japanese looking person and said, "Hey, is that Miyavi?" and the girl said, "No. I don't know..." and I said, "Are you Japanese?" and she said, "yes." and I left her alone, but alas, she was also one of his friends that I didn't know until about muchhh later. So I acted like I was interested in a pink sweater and then I turned around and lo-and-behold, there is Miyavi holding a pink sweater. Then he asks the saleslady in a very accented voice, "Excuse me, may I try this on?" and the lady literally looked like O_O and said, "Um, what? Try it on?" and he said, "Yes' and she was smiling really big and he said, "Why are you smiling?" and she said, "It's nothing. You go straight down and you'll find it."

Then I followed him a few feet behind and finally his groupie didn't follow him so I knew that I could talk to him personally. I waited outside the dressing room looking at t-shirts and I heard other saleswomen saying, "A man walked into the dressing room!" and I was like, "...." I waited and waited and finally he walked out and I walked up to him and said, "Ano, suimasen demo... sa... anata wa Miyabi-san desuka?"

and he said, "Yes...?!" and I said, "Could I please take a picture with you?" and he said, "Hm? What?" and I said, "Ano, shashin..." and he did an X with his arms/hands and said, "No no ;_;" so I said, "Ah, but please?" and he said, "I am so sorry, but no." (and I recognized his tattoos on his hand and knew for sure that it was Miyavi) BUT AT LEAST HE FREAKING SAID HE WAS MIYAVI AND DIDN'T LIE LIKE HIS STUPID STAFF. Ahaha, but they were probably lying for security measures or they thought that I was a rabid fangirl. Going on, he said, "Ah, sa~in ga hoshii?"

and I said, "Que? Oh. Ah... hai hai??" and he acted like he was giving an autograph and I said, "Okay!" and he said, "Come come!" and I said, "Ah... ah... but!" and he said, "Come with me." and I said, "Are you sure?" and he said, "yesyes." so I followed him and realized that his groupie knew me and was probably going to shoot me and said, "AH! DEMO DEMO!" and he said, "Nnn?" and I said, "Your staff... they will be mad." and he said, "No no, come with me!" and I was like, "@_____@ DAMN." so I followed and his groupie was staring at me like this .________. but I totally ignored them.

He asked his groupie for a pen and asked if I had anything to sign on. I was like, "Can't we just take a picture? I really like your clothes..." and he said, "Sorry!" and one of his groupie people said, "Sorry, but he can't take pictures. Do you have paper?" but I didn't and she told me to hand over a dollar bill (WHY THE FRICK DID I HAVE TO WASTE A DOLLAR ON MIYAVI?!) and he tried to sign in but the pen didn't work. [SIDE NOTE: Apparently Miyavi never takes pictures with fans, as he's afraid they'll end up the internet (wat, never). It happened before, I guess, when he was drunk, but J-Rock fandom is inane and retarded in that they save NOTHING (I had to ride their ass for like ten minutes before the one person who saved the pic before the OP took it down would share) so I have no evidence of his one tabloid adventure. :< ]

So he got another pen and signed it and asked my name and I said, "Tara..." and he said, "T-A-R-A?" and I said, "Yup!" and he signed it and smiled and said, "Thank you." and I said, "Hontou ni arigatou gozaimasu~" and bowed and stuck out his hand so I shook (is that a real word?) his hand looking semi-confused and he said, "Bye!" so I said, "Thank you, good bye." and left feeling rather dazed.

Because he didn't let me take a picture with him, I went upstairs and my mother and I was looking down at Victoria's Secret and waited about 20~40 minutes so that he could come out from the shop and I could take a picture from afar but it was so... um, hard to wait? I don't know why he was shopping for so many things at that store and he had like a whole bunch of things with him that he was going to buy. Finally he came out and I took a picture, accidently with flash on and he looked around but never looked up so I turned off the flash and took about 6 pictures more. So I have a picture of Miyavi, but not with him. Oh well.

So now I have a dollar that says, "Dear Tara" with his signature and date and I realized that he could have just signed my Orbit gum box. Damn."

The autograph'd dollar bill

The Miyavi sekrit pic she took


The BEST part though is the reactions these J-Rock fans are having. This email is already tl;dr but here is a fine selection of the trolling comments left on her myspace and LJ, UNALTERED~

"This can't be true, it just can't...otherwise I will die..."

"I hate that girl. She's like "why did I have to waste a one dollar bill on miyavi" I left her two coments repremanding her. I hate it when non-fans meet celebrities just for autographs and stuff. and devoted fans don't get the chance. There's a bunch of people in america who meet jrock bands yet they don't know them at all. >.<><-- [SIDE NOTE: Who is excited about meeting fug americans. Besides Jin.]

"as a true miyavi fan. I hate you. Seriously I would waste 100$ bill on him if I got the chance to meet him and he would offer his signature. "

32 comments:

kate said...

i hate you for putting the image of miyavi wearing victoria's secret in my head.

Anonymous said...

i can't wait for someone to claim that this is photoshopped, too. xD

Nat said...

Looks like his toenails are painted pink like the shopping bag. lol.

Anonymous said...

Lol, I second the photoshopped comment XDDD

AppleSpice said...

xD omg... what I wouldn't give to see the VS worker's face when he asked to try on the pink sweater. PUHAHAHAHA. I know I'd been like 'WTF?' I can't believe she smiled... :3

guess1 said...

Yamapi's cheating...

Anonymous said...

"as a true miyavi fan. I hate you. Seriously I would waste 100$ bill on him if I got the chance to meet him and he would offer his signature. "

Hahahah notice she used the word "waste". LEARN YOUR VOCAB!

Eve said...

Someone's gonna throw a fit at that photobucket account.

KendoYuki said...

LOL well I personally love Miyavi, and I think that girl is really lucky she got to meet him and get his autograph!

...but Victoria's Secret of all places?

Anonymous said...

The fans who commented at her myspace are just too... weird? stupid? pure crap?

Anonymous said...

Firstly, LMAO at Yamoob-pi cheating in school.

And Miyavi in VS, xDDDD

Anonymous said...

i walked past him once, and though in my head how fan girls would die for that chance. than i laughed cause he sucks and is a total fag. as a non fan, i did not give a shit he was standing there looking like a retard. so why is this "non fan" chick all up in his shit stalking him through a ghetto mall? he only has fans cause he used to let people grope him when he was in due le quartz.

eyeforeye said...

i remember once seeing him too, but i didn't bother him. oh well, hope he bought something nice at Victoria's Secret, poor chick everyones bashing her since she acted so pompous about it,lol. Angry fans equals good times for my barely their ass!!

Anonymous said...

he's such a fag, and always has been; even when he was in due le quartz

but i'd still suck his cock

mori said...

i just don't like him.
end of story.

Cookie said...

Wow, what a fucking stalker bitch!

Anonymous said...

Apparently Miyavi never takes pictures with fans, as he's afraid they'll end up the internet
Evidently, retarded, heroine-addict rock-stars are smarter than Jin ::shock::

Good story. Though I admit I'm still looking at the lesbians in the first picture and think it makes a far better topic.

Anonymous said...

Cookie is a faggot

Anonymous said...

I want to hear about Yamapi! Deeeliveerr~

shiz said...

"so don't send your boyfriend to sue me over it or anything, ok?"

LOLLLLL. asldkajldk. A+ comment. and yes, iawkate on this one.

Anonymous said...

Is that true?? That Miyavi is in America????? Wow! I want to go to America now too see Meevy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
If it's true u must be a really lucky girl!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

walkingkleenex said...

LOL that means he's staying at Joey Tee's house.

syl said...

t this is HILARIOUS

Adam said...

I wasn't aware people cared about Mivayi, so thanks for that.

nepenthes said...

Geh, I love how she says she's not a fan. I'M not a fan and I wouldn't be stalking him.
He's irritating and femmy and his fans are stupid little bints.

Anonymous said...

LOL, Joey Tee's house.

Anonymous said...

HAhahah I wish i saw Miyavi at VS! I would be taking random pics of him with that sweater on! LOL. Come to the VS near my house, I'll show you around the store lol.

Zoey said...

Hey I consider myself as a miyavi fan and I don't think I'm a fucking retarted little bitch XD...But I'll never think miyavi the way I used to do...come on, victoria's street? O_o he's girlie but that's way too much XD and wtf with the pics and the fans ?...loser ! ^^
Anyway, I think I'd be totally like that girl if he ever saw myv on the street ^^ my dark fanside would show up XD
Anyway, keep up the good work - I love it :p

Anonymous said...

i like miyavi but fangirls bug me, which is why i avoid 99% of fansites and i rarely read comments posted on youtube / myspace videos. Fanbitches are overly catty and childish.

Steph-

Anonymous said...

I like how hostile the commenters HERE are being, and then mocking the hostility of Miyavi fans commenting on that chick. Miyavi has fans because he is an unusually gifted guitarist. (And yes some just think he's hawt) But making blanket statements about how he's a "fag" and his fans are [insert nasty namecalling here] doesn't make you people any higher quality.

Anonymous said...

Victoria's Secret would not be a surprising place to find Miyavi, as far as I'm concerned. You guys are just crazy. What does it matter where he goes? It's cool that that girl met him though.

Anonymous said...

I can't see any pictures!

 

choscandalous. Copyright © 2011 -- Template created by O Pregador -- Powered by Blogger